OxygenD's Editor Blog with Diane Hart

Friday, December 10, 2010

"I feel like such a failure!"

This note came to me last week and I thought I'd ask you to (pardon the pun!) weigh in....Laura wants help and it would be great if all chipped in to lend her a hand... Word of mouth is so motivating!!!!!

Here's the question from Laura:

I have been trying for years (at least 7 years now) to reach my fitness goals. I really need a get fit and eat healthy for dummies guide. I have some of Tosco Rena's books, I have Oxygen magazine, I have a gym membership. I exercise and then I get sick or something comes up and then I have a hard time getting back on track. I feel like such a failure. My clothes are tighter again, I'm stressed at work at home and having a hard time sleeping. Ugh. Please help!


  1. Do you have ADHD? I do, and everything you are saying sounds like a mirror to my own struggles. I feel overwhelmed when I try to start a plan. Here's what I have done that seems to be working.
    1) Start slow. Commit to one healthy meal a day for a week or two. Work on disciplining yourself to plan that one meal, shop for that one meal and cook that one meal every day. Once you feel like you can do that without feeling overwhelmed, add another meal in. The same goes for exercise. Commit to walking every day for a week or two and then gradually add in three days of weight training a week and build from there. Sure, it will take longer to get results, but after seven years of not getting the results you want, what's a few more months if you're at least heading in the right direction? It's been about that long for me too, and I'm also sick of it.

    2) Don't beat yourself up. If you fall off the wagon, get up, brush yourself off and get back on. Easier said than done, I know, but you have to do it. Another tendency of people with ADHD is to beat themselves up. I do it all the time. It is not productive at all and it doesn't burn calories, build muscle or help you reach your goals. If it did I would be on the cover of Oxygen because I'd have the best body out there.

    3) Find YOUR motivation. For me it has been finding out that exercise and healthy eating is one of the most effective treatments out there for ADHD. I despise all the medications that treat it, and I went looking for an alternative and found it in fitness. I have more focus, I'm able to actually complete a task, and I have fewer mood swings. Like I said. YOUR motivation. Not the motivation of a friend or someone in a magazine...the thing that moves YOU. That is what you need.
    Email me if you want. I think we could help each other. tmorgan82@gmail.com

  2. Laura!

    First and foremost: believe in yourself. YOU are important and you CAN reach those goals. Make that your first thought when you wake up in the morning, and you'll consistently start your day on the right foot. As a certified personal trainer, I can say with certainty that you are not alone. Many people have these same struggles, and I can also say with certainty that they can be overcome.

    Regarding your diet, plan ahead! Tosca's books are fabulous, sit down with them every weekend and figure out what you feel like eating all week. Make a list, then hit the grocery store and stick to that list! Avoid distractions, and you'll have healthy food ready and waiting for your hungry stomach all week long. Further, consider keeping a food journal. Bite it...write it, girl! Hold yourself accountable.

    Regarding your fitness, consider hiring a personal trainer. They will bring exciting exercises to each session you schedule, which will consistently challenge your muscles and keep you engaged. And since you're footin' the bill, you won't want to miss out, which is a sneaky way to keep yourself in the gym! Can't afford a trainer? Consider scheduling at least one session....maybe one session every few weeks. Get yourself started, then keep your routine up-to-date. Or, make a pact with a buddy and workout together. You'll hold each other accountable and have a rockin' good time as well.

    You can do it, girl. You really can. And you are completely worth it.

    (...and PS: If you'd like "A Daily Dose of Fit," feel free to follow my blog at www.tarasabo.com! And drop me a line, I'd love to hear how you progress!)

  3. Tiffany & Tara,
    Thank you for your words of wisdom! Thank you Diane for all the work you do with spreading the word on fitness and healthy eating! I appreciate your time and help!

  4. Glad to have a forum where people share positive thoughts! Can't have too much optimism and positive reinforcement to my mind, so thanks to Tiffany and Tara! Good luck Laura....you really can do it.

    - Diane

  5. Hi Laura! I often had the same issues as you did with getting on track and staying on track. I find that blogging or writing or keeping some kind of details with other people helped me a TON, as well as making sure that the exercises that I did were fun and interesting for me. I actually wrote an article about it -- it's kind of my way of feeding back into my adventures. The link is http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/6045348/live_to_win_my_personal_experience.html?cat=5 . I hope you find it useful!

  6. Twix,
    Thanks so much for the encouragement. I really have been enjoying this newly updated oxygen website with all these blogs to read and learn from. I will check out the website you listed. Thanks again. Laura

  7. I agree with everything the others have said, and encourage you to also seekout supportive connections. I love to browse blogs (oxygen blogs and others!) websites, and the sparkpages of friends and inspirational gals on sparkpeople.com because I don't really have friends with similar goals and I know a supportive group of friends with similar goals is soo helpful. If you can't find supportive people in person- find them online! There are a lot of women out there who are working hard for the same thing you are and will be happy to exchange support with you.
    me included :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp?id=MINDYOGI
    and I'm collecting healthy clean recipes at my recipe blog: http://shehasgoodtaste.blogspot.com/
    PS. to the wonderful folks at Oxygen, I would LOVE more ways to interact with other Oxygen readers on your website. I love this site!